By: Mila Pilz, Advoz’s Executive Director, Program Operations

One of the basic tenets of restorative practices is called “fair process.” “People are happier, more cooperative and productive, and more likely to make positive changes in behavior when those in authority do things with them, rather than to them or for them,” from a statement of the International Institute of Restorative Practices (IIRP). A catchy way to remember this is, “a decision made without me is against me.”

There are three ‘E’ principles to fair process: Engagement, Explanation and Expectation Clarity. 

1. Engagement — involving individuals in decisions that affect them by listening to their views and genuinely taking their opinions into account
2. Explanation — explaining the reasoning behind a decision to everyone who has been involved or who is affected by it
3. Expectation Clarity — making sure that everyone clearly understands a decision and what is expected of them in the future (Kim & Mauborgne, 1997)

In real life, this boils down to having a dialogue with those involved about the decisions. This ensures that everyone understands the decisions and knows what is expected of them, and what are the consequences for not abiding by the agreements.  In the adult world, we observe this in terms of team guidelines and company handbooks. 

When it comes to applying these principles to dialoguing with youth, there is a tendency to minimize the importance of following through with them.  In the elementary school classroom, having the students hear and agree to the rules is a routine expectation …but what about having them come up with their own rules?  How young is too young for fair process?  I decided to do what any good mom would do and test the principles with my own family.  My husband and I talked with our 3-year-old daughter about the ways we each wanted to be treated in our household.  We came up with compassionate ideas such as “kind words”, “kind hands”, and “kind feet.”

We all also adopted a guideline she learned at her daycare about being a “bucket filler,” based on the book, Have you Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud. We asked her to draw the guideline on a blank piece of paper, then we talked about what should happen if one of us did not follow the guideline. We came up with the following:

First Time – A reminder by coming back to review the paper that is posted on the refrigerator. 

Second Time – Re-do! A time to “rewind” and try again. 

Third Time – A 5-minute cool down time. 

Amazingly enough, this process has been very helpful for our family.  It has allowed for all of us to have the same expectations of each other.  We all bought into it since we all had a say into it (so democratic!).  Now, it isn’t always perfect, but it has definitely been a good tool to have in the parenting toolbox. 

So whether you’re working with 3-year old, or someone far older in your family, try starting with that blank piece of paper. Set up clear expectations, explanations and engagement together. And return to them. We can all use more fair process, more kindness–starting at home.

Mila has a long-standing passion for conflict resolution, going back to being a peer mediator in elementary school. After earning B.A.’s from Bloomsburg University and M.A.’s in Conflict Resolution and in International and Intercultural Communication from the University of Denver, Mila took her skills abroad. In Amman, Jordan she taught in a private K-8 school, working with school discipline and parent-school relations. In leadership since 2014 with Conflict Resolution Services before merging to form Advoz, Mila is excited to be making her hometown an even better place to live.

We are pleased to announce a new slate of officers for our board of directors. Advoz, a Lancaster-based nonprofit providing mediation, restorative justice dialogue and conflict resolution training since 1981, recently named a slate of experienced officers to its board:

• Lucille Connors, of Lititz and CEO of Significa Benefit Services, continued in her second year as board Chairperson;
• Ken Nissley, of Lancaster and retired IT administrator and restorative justice case manager steps forward as board Vice-Chairperson;
• John Bomberger, of Millersville, retired CEO of Choice Books steps forward as board Treasurer;
• John Huber, of Lititz, retired Attorney at Gibbel Kraybill & Hess, steps forward as board Secretary.

Other members include:

• Peter Faben, Attorney at Barley Snyder LLP;
• Rob Bomberger, President at Benjamin Roberts, Ltd.;
• Marjorie Mattey, Retired healthcare services consultant;
• John Eby, Professor Emeritus of Sociology at Messiah College;
• Dawn Gamble, CPA, CGMA, CFO consultant;
• James Landis, Management Consultant at Core4;
• Barbara Spiegelberg, retired real estate professional;
• Deanna Weaver, Deputy Director at Lancaster Victim/Witness Services.

Advoz formed from the 2017 merger of Conflict Resolution Services and the Center for Community Peacemaking, both having served Lancaster County and beyond for a combined 59 years. In its most recent fiscal year, Advoz served more than 900 youth and adults involved in conflicts and crime to assist them through facilitated dialogue and education training. Demand for these services has risen 40% over the past two years, adding urgency to the work of Advoz’s board of directors to increase funding and volunteer involvement.

Advoz is one of the most active restorative justice and mediation services in Pennsylvania thanks to its partnerships in local justice system and support from volunteers and donors in the community.

Advoz staff is led by Chris Fitz, of Marietta, executive director of community engagement, and Mila Pilz, of Manheim Twp, executive director of program operations.

By Chris Fitz

When people talk about “peace,” I often hear an assumption of tranquility or calmness. Not usually so at Advoz. German philosopher Immanuel Kant once distinguished between the “peace of the graveyard” in its quiet stillness and a peace wrought by vigorously building agreements. This active peace is a core Advoz value, built into the meaning of Advoz, “to add voice.” It’s not easy. And your part is more necessary than ever.

This year’s event theme, Creating Peace, was inspired by a young man who didn’t flinch when he was invited into active dialogue with Advoz. “Reme” had been caught spraying illegal graffiti by the warehouse owner and police. And when the owner opted not to participate in restorative dialogue, Advoz invited Ramon, a community volunteer to stand-in as a “surrogate victim” in restorative dialogue.

As it happened, Ramon is also a professional graffiti artist and was able to speak to the respect that’s missing in illicit graffiti. Ramon invited Reme to help work on a professional mural at a local school (above), and they kept in touch as Reme began building his own entrepreneurial portfolio. Reme knows that peace is work. Creative work.

If you want to appreciate this more fully—and find out how it ends—Reme and Ramon are featured guests at our Around the Table signature event on April 30^th. You’ll meet them and their artwork if you join us.

Creating peace takes effort. And the dozens of volunteers that comprise Advoz’s team of mediators and facilitators know that. They often report feeling both exhausted and rewarded after a dialogue session. So do participants. They’re often reluctant to participate in dialogue at all because the outcome in uncertain. But despite the effort it entails, more people are seeking to work through conflict and crime through dialogue at Advoz.

“Over the past two years, demand for Advoz’s core services of restorative justice and family mediation has soared 40%”

Over the past two years, demand for Advoz’s core services of restorative justice and family mediation has soared 40% from 225 to 314 requests. Those additional 89 cases have begun outpacing our capacity to respond in a timely way. A new class of trained facilitators and mediators will increase Advoz’s capacity to help people in conflict create peace together. But as this opportunity unfolds, we face the critical question, can we respond to it?

As someone who understands the life-long community impact of creating peace with youth like Reme and families in a critical transition, you can also play a vital role sustaining it for someone else. We face an estimated additional 50 cases and $30,000 in cost during 2019. And we invite you to consider a making a special kind of contribution, a monthly “Sustaining Table gift” to sponsor one case in 2019 at $50/month ($600), over two years at $25/month or over six months at $100/month ($1,200).

Go to our special campaign page www.SustainingTable.org and join hundreds of courageous folks like Reme and Ramon in the hard work of creating peace.

Advoz is excited to announce this year’s Dignity in Dialogue recipient, Salina Almanzar. A native of Lancaster City, Almanzar is a visual artist, educator and community activist whose work has impacted residents of Lancaster. Almanzar’s art serves as a catalyst for countless conversations about the role of the Latinx community within Lancaster, neighborhood revitalization and the implementation of the arts within our school systems.

Holding a MS in Art Administration from Drexel University, Almanzar has established herself as an influential member of Lancaster City. She stands as the youngest and first Puerto Rican woman to be elected to the School District of Lancaster Board of Directors, serves on the Community Engagement Committee for the Fulton Theater and is a teaching artist for Lancaster Public Art at Culliton Park. 

As a community artist she has dedicated countless hours toward researching the cultural space of the Latinx community within Lancaster City. Her Graduate thesis focuses on Creative Placemaking within the Lancaster Latinx Community where she curated countless stories from community members in an effort to shed light on an underrepresented population of Lancaster. Through her art she strives to create spaces of expression and cultural preservation for Latinx people in the Lancaster area, as well as creating permanent places for the community to share.

Community art collectives have been a staple throughout Almanzar’s professional art career, and she has employed her creativity to help shed light on issues within the Lancaster Community. Some of her projects include Love Notes to a Park (the ongoing revitalization on Culliton park and its surrounding neighborhoods), Arts and Craft Pop Ups, This Neighborhood Is: Portraits of Culliton Park, Like Water Community Zine, Somos Semillas at the Mix at Arbor Place, and Alza La Voz.

Almanzar sets an example for us all on the importance of art within the healing process. Her art encourages community members to congregate into one space and engage with each other while creating open spaces for dialogue. On her website she states, “making together, much like sharing a meal, has the capacity to break down barriers, open up new avenues for conversation, and reveal bonds that may not otherwise be exposed”. Art, just like the dinner table, brings people together.

“Making together, much like sharing a meal, has the capacity to break down barriers, open up new avenues for conversation, and reveal bonds that may not otherwise be exposed.” 

Advoz invites you to join us April 30 for our Around the Table where we will share stories of reconciliation in our community, enjoy a seated dinner and silent and live auction, enjoy art from School District of Lancaster, and connect with fellow peacemakers. Show your support for Advoz’s reconciling dialogue and hear testimonials from the ones who’ve been through it.

For more information please visit http://AroundtheTable.org or email chair@aroundthetable.org. See you around the table!

“The shift” is often imperceptible in mediation. What starts out as a heated and contentious business negotiation suddenly turns to a rational exchange with voices even and tempers cooled.

Soon after, folks in the room are finding their own way toward an agreement, generating their own solutions, testing them and finding resolution.

It’s a process we see every week at Advoz, a Lancaster nonprofit that offers mediation and restorative justice services.

And it’s a process for which we can see a real need in our current national political struggle.

But how do we get there? How can we make the shift happen in America?

President Donald Trump announced Friday afternoon that a deal had been reached to reopen the federal government. The partial federal government shutdown had lasted 35 days — the longest in U.S. history.

Congress and the White House now have until Feb. 15 to negotiate a deal involving the thorny issues of immigration and border security. As a mediator, I see this as a clear opportunity.

The pain of the shutdown was not felt equally. The pain of federal workers, contractors and their families is what we honor in asking the question: How can we, the American people, help to avoid another such impasse?

It would be easy to suggest mediation tools for lawmakers to find common ground and make the big “shift” happen. But the opportunity before us is not just a political one, it’s a cultural one. If we citizens can’t talk to our neighbors about divisive issues, how can we expect our representatives to do that?

So what follows are a few ideas, many of which were articulated in the best-selling book, “Getting to Yes” (Fisher & Ury, 1981), for how to approach the current moment as an opportunity — for our elected representatives and for ourselves:

— Separate the person from the problem: What do you deeply want in our national political debate? What does that look like in your life, day to day? How can you talk about that in terms of your own story (rather than blaming or comparing)? What does your neighbor, your representative deeply want for themselves and our shared community? Can you ask them?

— Explore underlying interests and needs below publicly stated positions: Your neighbor may say they want “border security” or “border freedom” but there may be deeper interests. What might they be for you? For your neighbor? Can you ask your neighbor about his or her deep needs and concerns? Can you model courageous vulnerability to share your needs and concerns? Can you listen without judging, advising and assuming, and stay curious?

— Make an offer: As you struggle in a difficult conversation, you might find an opportunity to contribute something constructive. The shift happens, in part, because one person has the courage to recognize or appreciate the other, to create or suggest something new, to contribute positively despite feeling threatened.

Perhaps ask: “I wonder what it would like if our kids … .”

What can you offer to move the situation forward one step? Voicing this once is not a guarantee, but it is at times a surprising antidote to a cycle of critical one-upmanship, blame and defensiveness.

Conversation starters

Need a few one-liners? These could be used in many conflictive situations — or with your elected representatives — to shift a conversation toward breakthrough:

• “How were you personally affected by the government shutdown?”
• “Could you tell me more about that?”
• “What do you hope for our community and our country?”
• “What values do you think that we share as a community? As a country, even across party lines?”
• “Could you imagine a positive path forward toward our shared values?”
• “What can you offer to move this situation forward just one step?”
• “Here’s what I can offer.”

Finding common ground

In 1995, I landed in Northern Ireland to study what had been a 25-year run of seemingly endless violence, division, discrimination and political impasse among the Roman Catholics and Protestants there.

But working amid the din of bombings and political bombast were Catholic and Protestant clergy, lay leaders and politicians in quiet conversations with paramilitary leaders. Those secret conversations, some lasting nearly 10 years, led to a permanent ceasefire of the major paramilitary organizations, followed by a long series of political discussions and agreements. Everyone I met on the street seemed to still be in a state of disbelief, asking the question, “How could such a shift just suddenly happen?”

As members of the greater Lancaster County community, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, helpless and disempowered in the face of seemingly intractable national conflicts. But we live in a diverse community right next to people who share very different positions with equally passionate conviction.

In our own backyard, we have an opportunity to apply the lessons of mediation, to find our own common ground through quiet conversation.

If we can do that, we can join Northern Ireland and hundreds of other unsung peace processes around the world, leading our representatives to sit down — out of the glare of media cameras — and look each other in the eye, and hear each other in a new way.

That’s the kind of leadership that can make America’s big shift happen, not just in the weeks ahead, but during the many inevitable challenges — and opportunities — to come.

Christopher Fitz is executive director of community engagement at Lancaster-based Advoz: Mediation & Restorative Practices, which was created by the merger of Conflict Resolution Services and the Center for Community Peacemaking. Mila Pilz, executive director of program operations at Advoz, contributed to this column.

This article appeared on the Lancaster Newspaper Op-Ed section on January 27, 2019.

We’re excited to see increasing stability and growth as Advoz’s had its first full fiscal year as a merged entity ending May 31, 2018. This report outlines the many people engaged in our dialogue programs along with the funds raised and expended for that work. The graphs do not depict the nearly 100 dedicated, skilled and trained facilitators, mediators and trainers who donate their time to  make resolution and restoration possible and affordable for so many.

Thank you for your contribution towards Advoz’s growth this year through meaningful dialogue. If you want to continue your support into 2019, you can get involved by making a donation or volunteering.